Twit-freaks who don't pee on your pillow.
You saunter over to your desk. Before you place your behind in your chair, you have already opened up your browser. No need to type in the address- it's your home page.
www.twitter.com
With a crack of your knuckles and a few neck-loosening exercises, you rest your fore-arms on the desk and make sweet music with your fingers on the keyboard.
Ask most people: "Are you 'on twitter'?", " Do you tweet?", "Can I follow you on twitter?". Their reply will be short, and angry-annoyed: "God no! Twitter is SO lame. What the hell is the point. Why would I want to tell you what I am doing in 140 characters or less? How totally boring!". All the while, said person is on their BBerry/ iPhone updating their Facebook status every five minutes with useless information about what they ate for lunch, or how SOOOOOOO VEERRRYYYYYYY excited they are about this weekend/ their holiday/ their friend who just got engaged/ their boss/ shopping trip/ lunch date/ next trip to the toilet to do a number two in the office toilet. You see where I'm going with this?
Twitter, you silly non-believers, is NOT for over-sharing individuals who have a permanent case of verbal diarrhea. Twitter is not for people who tAlK LiKe dis n CnT B bovverEd 2 rite uSing tha enGliSh Lang ProPeRlY. Fools. Twitter is NOT like facebook. No. No.
Twitter is like the top drawer of your bedside table- the place where you keep all of your important and interesting things- like your ID, favourite book, discontinued favourite lip gloss and your secret push-up bra- easily accessible in case someone may need anything from you. Twitter is like the glove-box in your car- a treasure trove of forgotten things that always remain timelessly useful. Twitter is to your life on the Internet as 'the zip' is to your real life- useful. Pertinent. Maybe even mandatory.
You see, being proficient on twitter actually takes some skill. If you are an old-school, hard-core twitter user, you won't use things like Twitlonger (something I am guilty of from time to time). 140 characters is all you have to get your point across. It's all you have to make that statement. You need to be concise with your thoughts, making an impact with what you have to say, while still using all of your vowels and spelling every word correctly- there ARE ways to be creative with grammar and punctuation!
The mechanics of twitter are really rather simple:
There are so many ways to use twitter. Yes, there are no laws governing you on what you say or who you talk to. It's not like facebook where you need the person's permission to follow (read: Stalk) them. You simply click one juicy button and the person you choose to follow has the ability to word-vomit all over your home page. Nice. You can, (and many, many people are guilty of this, dare I say it-even I am from time to time) write about 'what you are doing right now!', 'what you are about to eat' and 'what you just ate/ did/ read/ smelled/ hear'. In fact, without contaminating this post too much, I would say that it might have the potential to make your twitter feed richer... people get to know you by drawing comparisons with what you get up to on a day-to-day basis and how your life rattles along. However, this type of tweeting is like quick-sand: it swallows you up. Soon, you will review your tweets and will fight back the vomit in your mouth for how sickly sweet/ corny/ nerdy/ or god forbid BORING you have become.
To avoid becoming all of the above, it is vital to make sure that you follow the right people. This does the same thing for twitter users as reading other people's work does for writers: it broadens your horizon and lets you know how the good ones are doing it.
However, there is another trap here, too. Many people feel (as with facebook) that by following as many people as possible, it will make you look important and very clever. Um...it won't.
If you follow @BarackObama or @nytimes, but tweet the following: @kittycat1234sunshineandrainbows: I totes just ate my bodyweight (I'm so fat! I weigh 40kgs) in brazil nuts. Gonna have to spend so much time at the gym. Also, my cat is sooooo cute. She just walked from the kitchen to the couch. Awwwwww.
you won't look interesting or intelligent. You'll look just like that twitpic that you posted five minutes ago of that hideous purple fake-leather handbag with the tassels on it: Like Crap.
Some people use twitter purely as a news or information source. All they do is follow other people and use their twitter feed as a newspaper/classifieds page/ magazine/ room full of conversation. This too, is rewarding- if you are not the kind of person who likes to talk.
If you are somewhere in the middle of the non-tweeter and the CrapBag vomit-tweeter, you will find a happy, and comfortable medium where you tweet interesting things, a little bit about the fabulous place you bought a really good sandwich or bottle of wine (sharing is caring, guys), share interesting thoughts or words of wisdom, and post links to cool blogs, trendy design sites or (if you are in advertising like me) the latest marketing/ advertising/ social news- purely for the benefit of your followers. Selfless? Sure.
You can even use twitter as a FREE marketing tool. However, shameless and constant tweeting about your business/ links about your business/ virtual pleading to buy from your website/ begging for followers or RT'ing the same thing over and over is EXACTLY the same thing as me coming over to your house and peeing all over your pillow: Totally not what you signed on for. Plus it stinks. Be clever with your marketing and you will be inundated with followers. Word.
Have you heard about the power of 'word of mouth'? Have you heard about Seth Godin's 'sneezers'? These things equal twitter. You better believe it.
To sum it up- twitter is like a cocktail party. It's a room full of people that you chose to be with. They say interesting things that scoop up and place in the arms of a friend. They give you advice about where to eat or what to do on a rainy Sunday in Hermanus. They help you promote your business by sharing your story with their powerful and connected friend standing by the snacks table. They make you laugh, and give you wonderful compliments. They are trendy, comical, clever and quirky. Occasionally, you will get to talk to someone famous who will share information that lets you know that they are just like you, too.
Whether you choose to stand in the conversation circle but sip your drink while listening to the chatter or you get involved in the conversation and share knowledge with the group, twitter is a fascinating, clever and useful tool. It's something that could add value to your life... in 140 characters or less.
Just do me one favour. Think before you write. Make sure what you say is interesting and will add value. If you do write something stupid, do it knowingly and own up to it. That might actually be what makes someone sign up to follow you.
Go. Tweet. Follow. Re-tweet. Let the information sharing begin.
Just don't pee on my pillow. Thanks.
PS: you can follow me if you like. Open up your browser. Type in www.twitter.com. Click 'find people'. Type in mandsritchie. Click 'follow'. I promise I won't pee in your house.
www.twitter.com
With a crack of your knuckles and a few neck-loosening exercises, you rest your fore-arms on the desk and make sweet music with your fingers on the keyboard.
Ask most people: "Are you 'on twitter'?", " Do you tweet?", "Can I follow you on twitter?". Their reply will be short, and angry-annoyed: "God no! Twitter is SO lame. What the hell is the point. Why would I want to tell you what I am doing in 140 characters or less? How totally boring!". All the while, said person is on their BBerry/ iPhone updating their Facebook status every five minutes with useless information about what they ate for lunch, or how SOOOOOOO VEERRRYYYYYYY excited they are about this weekend/ their holiday/ their friend who just got engaged/ their boss/ shopping trip/ lunch date/ next trip to the toilet to do a number two in the office toilet. You see where I'm going with this?
Twitter, you silly non-believers, is NOT for over-sharing individuals who have a permanent case of verbal diarrhea. Twitter is not for people who tAlK LiKe dis n CnT B bovverEd 2 rite uSing tha enGliSh Lang ProPeRlY. Fools. Twitter is NOT like facebook. No. No.
Twitter is like the top drawer of your bedside table- the place where you keep all of your important and interesting things- like your ID, favourite book, discontinued favourite lip gloss and your secret push-up bra- easily accessible in case someone may need anything from you. Twitter is like the glove-box in your car- a treasure trove of forgotten things that always remain timelessly useful. Twitter is to your life on the Internet as 'the zip' is to your real life- useful. Pertinent. Maybe even mandatory.
You see, being proficient on twitter actually takes some skill. If you are an old-school, hard-core twitter user, you won't use things like Twitlonger (something I am guilty of from time to time). 140 characters is all you have to get your point across. It's all you have to make that statement. You need to be concise with your thoughts, making an impact with what you have to say, while still using all of your vowels and spelling every word correctly- there ARE ways to be creative with grammar and punctuation!
The mechanics of twitter are really rather simple:
- The '@' sign appears before each name. It's used to link back to the person you wish to communicate with or let people know that you have mentioned them in what you have said.
- 'RT' means Re Tweet. It's just like varsity- you have to reference your sources. If you RT someone Else's tweet, you give them the credit that they deserve (especially if they are saying something so silly it makes your jaw drop- definitely give them the credit they deserve)
- 'Follow' means follow. Simple-hey? The people you follow? Their tweets will appear on your home page for your own viewing pleasure.
- 'Un-follow'? Need I say it?
- 'Block', 'Direct Message' and 'favourites' really speak for themselves...I would think.
There are so many ways to use twitter. Yes, there are no laws governing you on what you say or who you talk to. It's not like facebook where you need the person's permission to follow (read: Stalk) them. You simply click one juicy button and the person you choose to follow has the ability to word-vomit all over your home page. Nice. You can, (and many, many people are guilty of this, dare I say it-even I am from time to time) write about 'what you are doing right now!', 'what you are about to eat' and 'what you just ate/ did/ read/ smelled/ hear'. In fact, without contaminating this post too much, I would say that it might have the potential to make your twitter feed richer... people get to know you by drawing comparisons with what you get up to on a day-to-day basis and how your life rattles along. However, this type of tweeting is like quick-sand: it swallows you up. Soon, you will review your tweets and will fight back the vomit in your mouth for how sickly sweet/ corny/ nerdy/ or god forbid BORING you have become.
To avoid becoming all of the above, it is vital to make sure that you follow the right people. This does the same thing for twitter users as reading other people's work does for writers: it broadens your horizon and lets you know how the good ones are doing it.
However, there is another trap here, too. Many people feel (as with facebook) that by following as many people as possible, it will make you look important and very clever. Um...it won't.
If you follow @BarackObama or @nytimes, but tweet the following: @kittycat1234sunshineandrainbows: I totes just ate my bodyweight (I'm so fat! I weigh 40kgs) in brazil nuts. Gonna have to spend so much time at the gym. Also, my cat is sooooo cute. She just walked from the kitchen to the couch. Awwwwww.
you won't look interesting or intelligent. You'll look just like that twitpic that you posted five minutes ago of that hideous purple fake-leather handbag with the tassels on it: Like Crap.
Some people use twitter purely as a news or information source. All they do is follow other people and use their twitter feed as a newspaper/classifieds page/ magazine/ room full of conversation. This too, is rewarding- if you are not the kind of person who likes to talk.
If you are somewhere in the middle of the non-tweeter and the CrapBag vomit-tweeter, you will find a happy, and comfortable medium where you tweet interesting things, a little bit about the fabulous place you bought a really good sandwich or bottle of wine (sharing is caring, guys), share interesting thoughts or words of wisdom, and post links to cool blogs, trendy design sites or (if you are in advertising like me) the latest marketing/ advertising/ social news- purely for the benefit of your followers. Selfless? Sure.
You can even use twitter as a FREE marketing tool. However, shameless and constant tweeting about your business/ links about your business/ virtual pleading to buy from your website/ begging for followers or RT'ing the same thing over and over is EXACTLY the same thing as me coming over to your house and peeing all over your pillow: Totally not what you signed on for. Plus it stinks. Be clever with your marketing and you will be inundated with followers. Word.
Have you heard about the power of 'word of mouth'? Have you heard about Seth Godin's 'sneezers'? These things equal twitter. You better believe it.
To sum it up- twitter is like a cocktail party. It's a room full of people that you chose to be with. They say interesting things that scoop up and place in the arms of a friend. They give you advice about where to eat or what to do on a rainy Sunday in Hermanus. They help you promote your business by sharing your story with their powerful and connected friend standing by the snacks table. They make you laugh, and give you wonderful compliments. They are trendy, comical, clever and quirky. Occasionally, you will get to talk to someone famous who will share information that lets you know that they are just like you, too.
Whether you choose to stand in the conversation circle but sip your drink while listening to the chatter or you get involved in the conversation and share knowledge with the group, twitter is a fascinating, clever and useful tool. It's something that could add value to your life... in 140 characters or less.
Just do me one favour. Think before you write. Make sure what you say is interesting and will add value. If you do write something stupid, do it knowingly and own up to it. That might actually be what makes someone sign up to follow you.
Go. Tweet. Follow. Re-tweet. Let the information sharing begin.
Just don't pee on my pillow. Thanks.
PS: you can follow me if you like. Open up your browser. Type in www.twitter.com. Click 'find people'. Type in mandsritchie. Click 'follow'. I promise I won't pee in your house.
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