Divine Madness- a Gift from the Gods.

Platonic love (Latin: amor platonicus) is described by Herbert Ernest Cushman as "The Longing of the human being in his imperfectness for perfectness and completeness. It is the innate desire for immortality". In Plato's eyes, Platonic Love is a love for the Divine, and seeing beauty and desire in another man or woman is but proof that the Divine being has created such beauty and desire. In the Phaedrus, it is said to be a form of divine madness that is a gift from the gods, and that its proper expression is rewarded by the gods in the afterlife. *

When the topic of 'platonic' friends came up last night while at a marathon catch up session with one of my girlfriends, (don't worry guys- purely platonic, I promise) I shifted into a more comfortable position, anticipating what would be a mammoth discussion, and a chance to hear another side to this story. My left butt-cheek went really numb- I was right- the conversation moved from a discussion to a debate...and a lengthy one at that.

As expected, I put up a good fight. I argued my point. I used countless examples of all of my guy friends who are 'purely platonic' relationships in my life. I recounted situation after situation and backed up my argument as best I could after 3 glasses of wine and a Mojito.

No prizes for guessing which side of the argument I was on last night (and still cling to today). I fully believe in having a full, loving friendship with a member of the opposite sex. For me, that means being close to a guy without being romantically involved. It can, by all means, be a rewarding relationship. It's simple- if you don't feel it, you don't feel it. It's as black and white as that in my eyes.

And then some kid left the lid off the paint and the black mixed with the white and things turned that horrible corner into 'the gray area'. Being a psychologist, I could not dispute the undeniable fact that men and women are programed to find each other attractive. It's in the pheromones that they emit. It's in our DNA. It is something that we have been programmed to do in order to survive and procreate. And then I dived for the bunker but the bomb-shell hit me before I could get inside of it- Why, then, am I not physically attracted to my brother?

This fact alone is the reason I don't cling to my views on platonic relationships for dear life- I parade them around on a leash- proudly. With confidence. Open to attack. If platonic relationships did not exits and men and women found each other physically attractive no matter what their relationship might be, then I should be in love with my brother- as disturbing as that may sound. JR- I'm sorry to use you as a pawn in my chess game, but bear with me!

For me, I keep coming back to the fact that we are incredibly advanced monkeys. We have rather large, fully formed and functional gray matter. We can act, speak and do for ourselves, and have done so for many years. We have learned all of the social cues, been brought up to be polite and to recognise things for what they truly are. Most of all, we have learned honesty- with ourselves and with each other and, above all, self- control. ***

So if I can feel the profound, deep, 'stop at nothing to protect you' love for my brother that I do every time I see him, then I can feel the same kind of love for other male friends of mine. So as the gray separates back into my two lovely, orderly, neat pots of black and white, I can breath a sigh of relief. I don't need to call up all of my guy friends and tell them "I'm sorry bud. It's over- science tells me I should be in love with you".

If, in the eyes of Phaedrus, I am pursuing a form of 'divine madness that is a gift from the gods' then So Be It. I'm fine with being mad. It's OK. They know me here.

* Thanks Wiki

*** When I use the term 'we', I exclude the asses who have no manners, cannot control themselves and don't know the difference between cues and ques, let alone how to spell 'social'. You boys are all on your own.